Saturday, May 24, 2014

LIFE AND DEATH

Let me just start of by saying there is nothing in the world that will scare you more or make you feel as helpless as watching your child bleed to death in your arms and not be able to do one damn thing about it.
  There was no where to put a tourniquet, no way to heroically take of my shirt and apply it to the wound to stop the bleeding, there was nothing to be done except hold her as her life drained away down her legs and into a pool on the seat and whisper words of comfort and i love yous as my husband drove 85 mph to the closest hospital.
**********fair warning******* this is going to be long and graphic.
My daughter, Kelsie, just turned 14 on may 12th. end of the year sporting activities had kept us from having her sleepover party until this weekend, but now she needs rest and chillaxin'. so no party, but i am just so thankful she is here for me to be able to reschedule it instead of cancelling it.
Wensday my 2cnd daughter Kiara had her end of the year band concert, a pretty big deal and as she has had to suffer through all of Kelsie's football games, Kelsie needed to suffer thru her sisters concert. in reality I should have been taking Kelsie to the hospital right then, but i didn't know it was that bad. I am talking about her period, she had started on her way home from school. She told me it was heavy and that she had bled thru and she wasnt feeling good. no biggie you just have to sit in a chair for a couple hours nothing stressful take some motrin cause your going. She was being all drama queen or so i thought. i told her to go get cleaned up. Hubs comes home and asked me what happened in the bathroom cause there was blood everywhere (ok now he is being a drama queen) "kels go clean up your mess"..... so concert concert concert..... Kiara is amazing, i am cheering, Kelsie and Kiara decided to walk home cause i am going to stop at the grocery store for dinner. pull up in the drive and Kiara runs out saying Kelsie needs the overnight pads cause she used all the regular and it's heavy. So back to the store. Get the pads go into the bathroom to give them to her and its like a scene from a slasher movie, no drama queen, not kidding, there was blood and gore everywhere and i look in the shower and there is just a lake of blood and i see it just gushing out of her. i tell her to get dresses we are going to the hospital. She step out of the tub, her eyes roll back in her head and as i try to catch her, the momentum is to much and she passes out hitting her head on the toilet. Inside i freak, outside i try not too. i run as fast as i can screaming for Shad, he comes running, i tell him to get Kelsie we have to go to the hospital now. we both run back up stairs, i am looking for something to cover her in, he has the same thought, i go to grab my robe he goes to grab a towel she is left standing alone, as we both run back to her, her eyes roll up in her head again but this time she turns a white as paper a there is a loud splash of blood hitting the floor and as she collapses HE is there to catch her. this is not his first time, he had to do the same thing with me when my placenta detached with Kiara and he saved Kelsie from going headfirst into the fire pit when she was one, HE is my hero. I of course am talking about Shad, my husband Kelsie's dad. He scoops her up and puts her in the backseat, i crawl in the other side and hold her, the blood is still pouring out, she is worried her dad is going to be mad, he is driving like a bat out of hell, cutting thru parking lots, blowing yellowish lights, i swear they weren't red but i wouldnt have cared if they were. her eyes roll back once again and she goes limp, i am smacking her in the face and screaming her name, she was out for a good 90 seconds that time. She starts asking me about death, i tell her she is not going to die that i love her that she has to stay with me, i refuse to answer her questions, because even tho i see it happening i can not bear it, i can not give into it. So i just keep repeating my I love you because its so very important to for her to know, i keep telling her to stay with me. I am stroking her hair and watching the puddle grow larger. we pull up to the E.R. i grab a wheelchair, she puts her in i am the driver now, like a bat outta hell, i scream for a doctor, and for a blood transfusion type A+, i scream again for a doctor, no one is coming, they tell me to sign a form, i sign they ask more questions, i dont have time for this, they put the plastic armbands on. they take a stage 4 lung cancer patient back who is having trouble breathing, i am pissed. There is nothing that can be done for her and you need to save my baby (i know harsh and mean but this is my baby). finally we are back in a room, they are asking more questions, putting in an i.v., asking more questions, taking blood (are you crazy she has no blood left to give). She is white and cold her lips are blue, i am beyond freaked out on the inside. They poke and prod and ask more questions. They get her "stable". They tell me they can not treat her there, they have no gynecology or pediatric departments. the are transferring us to main. ok, we wait for the ambulance. we get to main, we must answer the questions again, she is still bleeding so heavy, they say her blood count has dropped from 9 to 7 if it goes any lower they will have to do a transfusion. i say do it, if it saves her then do it. i have not left her side i have held her cold pale hand the whole time. i refuse to leave her. i pull the 3 hard plastic chairs next to her bed, i lay across them holding her hand telling her to sleep, she needs her rest. they have a team of gynocologists come in and examine her, they boost her i.v. and start her on iron pills and move her to the birthing center so they can monitor her and her treatment. they start birth control pills 3x a day, we are in a nice room now with a fold out chair. she tells me to sleep, i pull the chair next to her bed and hold her hand and we sleep. color is coming back she can talk in normal sentences.  her blood levels are still too low but rising we are at 7.6. more iron more b.c. more i.v. she can have food. it continues all day thursday and all night. steady improvement. friday they are saying we can go home, she wants to leave, she can walk and talk and text. They say and iron transfusion and then she can go. Its an 8 hour total procedure, so we begin, we have breakfast and lunch together. i take a walk to the cafeteria with her dad and have dinner. by 10p.m. my baby girl is back and we are on our way home. They saved my baby.
The condition she has http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menorrhagia/basics/causes/con-20021959
in her case its extreme, she will have to stay on birth control and will have to be closely monitored by her doctor when she tries to have a baby in the FAR future, but otherwise she will be just fine.
in the e.r.

on the mend

going home